Dear Other Mother from Practicingnormal.com #stepmom #blendedfamily #othermom #family

Dear Other Mother

One of the many roles I fill is the one of being a Mother.  It is one of my most rewarding, and also one of the most exasperating roles that any individual can ever have.  I am not only a mother, I am also a stepmom and sometimes being a stepmom is even harder than being a mom.

The amount of work and love that a stepmom is exactly the same as a mother, but society does not see it that way and your role is not as clearly defined as if you were the birth mom.   The most confusing thing of being a stepmom is that the rules are not always the same.  I am in the unique situation that I am a mom and a stepmom and I also send my kids my kids to go and visit their biological dad where there is another mom looking after them.

This gives me a unique perspective.  I know what it is like to be a mother, to be an other mother and I know how difficult it is to let your kids go where someone else has to take over your role.

Here is the letter that I send to my kids ‘Other Mom’ and the one that I wish I would someday receive.

Dear Other Mother from Practicingnormal.com #motherhood #blendedfamily #stepmom #othermom #thank you

Dear Other Mother

I am calling you ‘the Other Mother’  as The Grimm brothers and Disney has ruined the word stepmom for all of us.

Do you know where the word ‘step’ comes from?  I’ve always imagined it comes from stepping into someone else’s shoes.   In the case of a mom someone else’s too tight, too high and sometimes really ugly shoes, but before this conversation start being about shoes instead of being about YOU, let me try again.

 You and I know that the chance that we will ever be friends is a really slim one.   Maybe we will never even get to the point where we have coffee and discuss the children (I hope not) but you never know.   This is a letter to say thank you.

Thank you for looking after my children and making them your own.   Thank you for every bum and nose you wiped.  Thank you for every bedtime story and every song you sing.   Thank you for juggling schedules and picking up kids and being the calm voice of reason when the relationships between the exes are getting out of hand.  Thank you for understanding that the kids and their needs come first.

Thank you for every concert you had to suffer through and that you were there to help with the costumes and the make-up.   Thank you for the discipline and every ‘Why’ question that you answer.   I know it is sometimes difficult to explain that discipline in different houses is not the same, but thank you for trying anyway. Thank you for every meal you cooked and every complaint that you had to listen too, every time a little voice said, ‘my mom does it this way.’  Thank you for buying snacks that the kids love and birthday cakes.

Thank you for getting up at night and chasing the bad dreams away.  Thank you for trying.  Thank you for never giving up.   Thank you for being the extra mom and not trying to replace me, even though sometimes I’m sure you wish you could.   Thank you for the heartless, unappreciated, thankless job that you do by parenting children that are not from your body.  Thank you for treating them as kids from your heart.

Every time I hear the kids say something nice about you I don’t wish that you were not part of their lives.  I am thankful that you are. Thank you for being the OTHER MOTHER.   Even though I may never acknowledge it I appreciate the role that you play in my son and daughters lives.  Thank you for loving them anyway and treating them like your own.   Thank you for making their second house not just a house but also a home.

From one ‘Other’ Mother to Another.

Thank you.

 

Linking to:

Wednesday Wisdom     Pour your Heart Out     Share with Me    Wine’d Down Wednesday               Twinkly Tuesday     Party Under the Big Top   Get Your Shine On   All Things with Purpose            Creative Princess     Thursday Favourite Things   My Stay at Home Advertures  Thriving on Thursdays   Brilliant Blog Posts  PoCoLo

This post was the favourite of the week at:

ShareWithMePicM

It was most viewed at:
My Stay at Home Adventures Link  Up partyAnd it was featured as blog post of the week at:

Mum-bo-Jumbo
Signature Practicing Normal
Don’t miss a post!  Follow us on Facebook  Pinterest or Google+
221 replies
  1. El and Baby A
    El and Baby A says:

    What a lovely post! Movies have totally blackened the term step-mom for sure but I think ‘other mom’ is much better. You sound like a great mom & other mom too xx

  2. Mary Burris
    Mary Burris says:

    What a sweet sentiment. While the initial reception of the letter may not have been agreeable, once read, I’m sure their feelings toward you would change.

    Thank you for tossing your hat into the ring at the Party Under The Big Top! We hope to see you again next week! #BigTopBlogParty

  3. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    The word actually comes from the 8th century word ‘steop-’, which means orphan, I found out after a bit of research. Thank you for stopping by and for your lovely comment.

  4. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    Thank you for stopping by. I think it is only as an adult when you have a bit more perspective that you can appreciate all things people do because they love you.

  5. Lisa (mummascribbles)
    Lisa (mummascribbles) says:

    This is such a gorgeous post and I’m sure the other mother would absolutely love to read this. It must be so hard to get through those initial stages to then acknowledging what a fab job they do and to know the children are loved in whichever house they are at. Thank you so much for linking up with #twinklytuesday 🙂

  6. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    Thank you for stopping by. It took us a few years but I think everyone is now in a routine and every year it gets a bit easier.

  7. Amy Ngai
    Amy Ngai says:

    What a lovely letter. Thank you for sharing that with us. I’m sure the “Other” mothers out there are very thankful to read a letter like this.

  8. Tin Box Traveller
    Tin Box Traveller says:

    What a wonderful letter and such a well balanced approach. Your kids can only benefit from your ability to see beyond mummy and daddy’s differences, and put them first. I know a few people who could learn from this! #Sharewithme

  9. Angela
    Angela says:

    Great post. My dad’s stepmother raised him, his two brothers, and sister as her own since they were young children. It has always amazed me how she took the four of them in and have always treated them like her own. My husband’s stepfather did the same thing, playing the role of the other father since he was two, even after he divorced my husband’s mother. To be a stepparent has to be a hard position. I hope one day you get the thanks you deserve.
    Angela @ Stepping into Motherhood

  10. Nakisha
    Nakisha says:

    Thank you. I am a step mom myself. I feel like I’m constantly defending how much I DO love them. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure her position isn’t an easy one either but I just wish she would believe that I love him all the same.

  11. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    The biggest problem is that everyone has a say and that roles are not always clearly defined. Approaching things with a bit of kindness helps.

  12. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    Thank you Angela. It gets hard sometimes, but I’ve learned to shrug things off and deal with others. Thanks for stopping by.

  13. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    It is a very hard thing to get use to. One of my monkeys asked me how do you love more than one child and I said that you grow a new heart for every one. If we can get to the point where we celebrate every person that love our children instead of seeing them as competition the world would be a better place indeed. We can always hope.

  14. Lucy @ bottlefor2
    Lucy @ bottlefor2 says:

    Lovely words, well said. There is nothing as precious as children and ensuring that they are loved and cared for properly. I wish all Mums and other mothers could repeat these sentiments.

  15. Jenny
    Jenny says:

    This just blew me away. I love it. What an amazing letter to write to the other mother indeed. My mom is the other mother to five other children and raised them all like her own. I give her big props for that and this is a letter she should have received too. Beautiful. Thank you ever so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  16. Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops
    Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops says:

    What a lovely post, I am the ‘other mother’ to my husbands two boys from his first marriage and I am mummy to Boo, I find that each role has it’s own challenges.
    I also had a mum and a step-mum growing up, luckily I got on well with my stepmum. I think you are right that word ‘step mum ‘ has been ruined and lets face it, it can be a tough ‘job’ to do.

  17. Meredith@MommyAtoZ
    Meredith@MommyAtoZ says:

    This is a beautiful letter. I love the term “other mother”…so much better than “stepmother.” You have a such a great perspective! Thanks for linking up at the Manic Mondays blog hop!

  18. Janice Wald
    Janice Wald says:

    Hi,
    My husband left when our daughters were six and eight. They have a step mom who puts it on the Internet that they are her children, her babies. I am an involved parent. I am sensitive, and it hurts my feelings.
    Thanks for explaining the flip side.
    I’m Janice from the Inspire Me Monday Linky party. Thank you for joining us this week.

  19. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    Thank you for stopping by. I love the #sharewithme and will join in again. I think sometimes it is only as a adult looking back that you can appreciate how much your parents do for you.

  20. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    Thanks for stopping by. I find that this is one thing almost no one is talking about and I hate the stigma that comes with the word stepmom. Mostly we are just ordinary woman trying to raise ALL of our kids with love.

  21. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    Thank you for #manicmondays and for stopping by. I feel the movies, especially Disney ruined the word stepmom.

  22. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    Hallo Janice

    I understand completely. Nature made us the way that we are always like lions protecting our cubs and it is difficult to step back and let someone take over. In the end you are and will always be their mom.
    It takes a long, long time to find balance with the delicate relationships between mothers taking turns to raise kids.
    I tried to think about it this way. Would you rather have someone that loves your kids or would you rather have a stepmom out of fairy tales that lock your children in a room and don’t feed them?
    I take the other woman loving my kids every time even though I might never like her as a person.
    Thanks for stopping by and for hosting #Inspire Me Monday, I love your link party. I always find interesting blog to read and I’ve made some new friends through your link party.

  23. Verily Victoria Vocalises
    Verily Victoria Vocalises says:

    This! This is how I wish that any new partner of my ex would be. Like you. But I fear not. I once went to meet his first serious partner since I left and she was so rude to me. I have banned my daughter from being near her because of this and many other reasons. I hope one day that he does find one like you because I want my daughter to be happy when she goes there. This is perfect. Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo x

  24. Kelly @ Mum-bo-Jumbo
    Kelly @ Mum-bo-Jumbo says:

    As a step mother, I can completely relate to this post. Thanks so much for sharing it at Mum-bo Monday, this has been selected by my co-host Jennifer as her pick of the party and it will be featured this week!

  25. Mariet
    Mariet says:

    Thank you for stopping by Verily and for hosting. I love #PoCoLo. Wishing you and your daughter the very best.

  26. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    Incredible! This blog looks exactly like my old
    one! It’s on a totally different topic but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Wonderful choice of
    colors!

  27. cheapflight
    cheapflight says:

    Hey there, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog site in Safari, it looks
    fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that,
    wonderful blog!

  28. airline tickets best price
    airline tickets best price says:

    Howdy! This post could not be written any better! Reading this
    post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept chatting about this.
    I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read.

    Thanks for sharing!

  29. discount airline tickets
    discount airline tickets says:

    Thank you, I’ve just been searching for info approximately this topic for a while and yours is the greatest I’ve
    came upon till now. However, what in regards to the conclusion? Are you sure in regards to the
    source?

  30. cheap flights domestic
    cheap flights domestic says:

    This design is steller! You obviously know how to keep a reader amused.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog
    (well, almost…HaHa!) Fantastic job. I really enjoyed what you had
    to say, and more than that, how you presented
    it. Too cool!

  31. cheap tickets cheap flights
    cheap tickets cheap flights says:

    Awesome blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m
    a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a
    free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m totally confused ..
    Any tips? Thanks a lot!

  32. gamefly
    gamefly says:

    Hey! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site with us so I came to look
    it over. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers!
    Excellent blog and wonderful design and style.

  33. gamefly
    gamefly says:

    Magnificent website. Plenty of helpful info here. I’m sending it
    to some friends ans additionally sharing in delicious. And of
    course, thanks to your effort!

  34. Darlena Pezzuti
    Darlena Pezzuti says:

    Can I simply say what a reduction to search out someone who truly knows what theyre speaking about on the internet. You positively know how to convey an issue to gentle and make it important. Extra individuals need to read this and perceive this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more common since you undoubtedly have the gift.

  35. Bryce Boegel
    Bryce Boegel says:

    This design is incredible! You certainly know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  36. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it
    to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed.
    There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  37. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    Hey there! I’ve been reading your website for some time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Lubbock Tx!
    Just wanted to mention keep up the good work!

  38. http://tinyurl.com/
    http://tinyurl.com/ says:

    Someone necessarily help to make critically posts I’d state.
    That is the very first time I frequented your website page and up to now?
    I amazed with the analysis you made to make this actual publish extraordinary.
    Magnificent activity!

  39. http://tinyurl.com/22gsre25
    http://tinyurl.com/22gsre25 says:

    I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme.

    Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?

    Plz reply as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to know where u got this from.
    many thanks

  40. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    Everyone loves what you guys tend to be up too. This sort of clever
    work and coverage! Keep up the very good works guys I’ve
    included you guys to our blogroll.

  41. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    I am not sure where you are getting your information, but great topic.
    I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more.

    Thanks for great info I was looking for this info for
    my mission.

  42. http://tinyurl.com
    http://tinyurl.com says:

    Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude!

    Thanks, However I am having difficulties with your RSS.
    I don’t know why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anyone else
    having the same RSS issues? Anybody who knows the answer will you kindly respond?

    Thanx!!

  43. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating it but, I’d like
    to send you an e-mail. I’ve got some suggestions for your
    blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great blog and I
    look forward to seeing it expand over time.

  44. bit.ly
    bit.ly says:

    It’s in fact very complex in this busy life to listen news on Television, therefore
    I just use web for that reason, and obtain the most recent information.

  45. mobilház szállítás Europa-Road
    mobilház szállítás Europa-Road says:

    I actually wanted to post a small word to appreciate you for all the marvelous points you are writing here. My time consuming internet lookup has now been recognized with wonderful facts and strategies to write about with my close friends. I would state that that most of us readers are quite endowed to live in a really good community with very many brilliant professionals with valuable tips. I feel really blessed to have seen your entire web pages and look forward to some more cool times reading here. Thanks a lot once again for all the details.

  46. http://bit.ly/3zpKAwX
    http://bit.ly/3zpKAwX says:

    I just couldn’t leave your website before suggesting
    that I really enjoyed the standard information an individual supply
    in your guests? Is gonna be again incessantly in order to investigate cross-check new posts

  47. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    Hi there very nice website!! Man .. Excellent .. Wonderful ..
    I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds
    additionally? I’m satisfied to seek out so many helpful information here within the post, we need develop extra techniques
    on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

  48. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    My family members every time say that I am killing my time here
    at web, except I know I am getting familiarity every day by reading such
    fastidious content.

  49. ai copywriting
    ai copywriting says:

    You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be actually something that I think I would never understand.

    It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am
    looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!

  50. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    My spouse and I stumbled over here by a different web page
    and thought I might as well check things out. I like what I see so i am just
    following you. Look forward to looking at your web page yet again.

  51. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    Hi there just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the pictures
    aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking
    issue. I’ve tried it in two different web browsers and both show
    the same outcome.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] week most viewed post of our link party was Dear Other Mom from Practicing Normal. […]

  2. […] favorite link up from last week was from the lovely Practicing Normal – Dear Other Mother. I wish this letter would have reached my own mother. So beautifully written and should be more how […]

  3. […] Practicing Normal: Dear Other Mother […]

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.