Blood is not the only thing that makes you a family. Family is who you love and if you are lucky, who loves you back. Being a mother is a difficult job, being a stepmom is even harder. You are mostly judged and very rarely celebrated.
Instead of judging let’s choose to celebrate the extra people in your children’s lives who love them. There is a beautiful quote from Valerie J. Lewis in Blended Families An Anthology. “Stepparenting is like working at a late-night convenience store – all of the responsibility and none of the authority.”
Please share these with all the blended families and send them to all the stepmoms you know. Mostly they just need someone to see them, to acknowledge that it is a difficult job to do and to say thank you.
Valentine’s day is around the corner, love is in the air, the birds are singing and everything smells like roses. Maybe not everything if you have kids, but we can always be hopeful.
I love reading lists of things to do on Valentine’s Day, but some of the suggestions are more suited to the younger crowd. The ones without kids and responsibilities. I may sound like a Scrooge, but I long for days filled with red roses, dark chocolate and lazy mornings in bed. I just have to take all these lists with a bit of cynicism, they always sound like they are written by hopeful romantic teenagers. I wish they would ask real woman, with kids, what they would like for Valentines.
Here’s a look at a few suggestions found on these lists.
I am a reader.
I am also a mom.
Being both can sometimes be quite difficult.
I keep track of all my books that I read on Goodreads and I participate in their yearly reading challenge. One of the things I had to do today was deciding how many books I would read this year and enter the challenge. This consists of filling in the form and every time you finish a book you update it on the website. No one ever checks up to see if you read the books that you say you will, but there is a little counter that reminds you for example: You have fallen behind by 4 books. I start to feel guilty as soon as that counter starts saying to keep up with this list you better go and read 2 books. As if I need another thing to feel guilty about. I’m a mom, I feel guilty all the time anyway. Read more