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Appreciate the people that you love

We’ve had a very busy few days the past week with ballet recitals and exams.   An almost normal week in the chaos that I call my life.

Then something happened which made me realise that sometimes you just have to stop, take a breath and appreciate your life and the people that you love.

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Things I wish someone told me before I became a Stepmom…

I always thought the term stepparent comes from the fact that you as ‘step-in’ as parent.  The word actually comes from the 8th century word ‘steop-’,  which means orphan.

Our kids have never been orphans and I like my interpretation of the word a lot more.  I hate the word stepmom, mostly because of all the negative connotations that the word have.   In our house we talk about the Other Mom.  If I have to speak to someone I always refer to myself as the ‘Other Mom.’  So much so that The Littlest Mouse used to ask why she only has one mom.   ‘Other Mom’ or ‘Stepmom’,  we are all just doing the best we can.

If I could go back in time and tell my naive, younger self what to expect there is a few things I would warn her about being a stepmom.  I love being a mom and I love all my children but there is some things about being a stepmom that you never even think about before it applies to you.

 

1)   Disney hates you

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Dear Other Mother from Practicingnormal.com #stepmom #blendedfamily #othermom #family

Dear Other Mother

One of the many roles I fill is the one of being a Mother.  It is one of my most rewarding, and also one of the most exasperating roles that any individual can ever have.  I am not only a mother, I am also a stepmom and sometimes being a stepmom is even harder than being a mom.

The amount of work and love that a stepmom is exactly the same as a mother, but society does not see it that way and your role is not as clearly defined as if you were the birth mom.   The most confusing thing of being a stepmom is that the rules are not always the same.  I am in the unique situation that I am a mom and a stepmom and I also send my kids my kids to go and visit their biological dad where there is another mom looking after them.

This gives me a unique perspective.  I know what it is like to be a mother, to be an other mother and I know how difficult it is to let your kids go where someone else has to take over your role.

Here is the letter that I send to my kids ‘Other Mom’ and the one that I wish I would someday receive.

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7 Magical comfort reads

The definition of a bookworm according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is a person who likes to read books and who spends a lot of time reading and studying.  The definition of the Urban Dictionary states:  A bookworm is a person who is so fascinated by books that he does not know what is happening in the world.

The definition of chocolate cake is a cake flavoured with melted chocolate or cocoa powder, but there is no definition for books that makes you feel like you are eating chocolate cake.   We need a word for that.   Any ideas?

My definition of a bookworm is someone to whom to read is to breath.  Even though I have a busy life and five kids I am always looking for stolen moments when I can stick my nose in a book.  I read while I wait for the bath water, while blow drying my hair,  waiting in line, waiting for kids, every moment waiting is time better spend reading.  If you have a full, busy life every five minutes count.

My house is full of books, my Ipad is loaded with more books that I will ever find the time to read in my lifetime and even though there is soooo many books that I still want to read there is some books that are like old friends that welcome you home.   You pick them up when you’ve hit a bump in the road, or a bit of a rough patch or just when you need a little bit of magic.

These are the books that I pick up when I need a hug and a little bit of comfort.

 

1)  Like water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel

“There are some things in life that shouldn’t be given so much importance, if they don’t change what is essential.”

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