Foam Butt Panties

Foam Butt Panties

Having five kids sometimes I’m a little bit late to the party, but even I know that Kim Kardashian with her butt pictures in Paper Magazine tried to break the internet.  I enjoyed the internet version where the trolls went crazy with photoshop a lot more than the original ones.   According to eonline.com 2014 was the Year of the Booty.  You had to be living under a rock to miss all the hype about butts,  but I almost missed this completely.

You can now buy a padded panty.   This is a panty that boast booty pads that fully cover the bottom from hip to hip.  Holy cow.  Did you know that this is a thing?  Why?  Why is this a thing?

 

Lowrise Padded Panties

www.lovemybubbles.com – Padded panties

 

Do we really need something else to feel bad about?   Can’t we just for once celebrate our beautiful booties, I mean bodies?  Even if those bodies are 40 years old and have saggy boobs and butts hanging down to our knees.

I do personal maintenance every morning.  Yes, at 40 you get to call it maintenance.  I pluck out stray hairs, frown at my wrinkles (which means I get more wrinkles), check for grey hair and shovel on make-up.   I do get dress every day, I wear make-up every day and I try really hard to be presentable even though I work from home.

Almost all of the adults that I connect with on a daily basis are on the internet.    I’m sure half of them would not care if I sit in my pj’s in front of the pc or even my underwear.  The other half will probably just blog about it or sell the pictures as crazy before photos.  Yes, I mostly dress in jeans but I don’t turn into a slob as I respect my husband and myself.  I like looking pretty and remembering that I’m a woman and not just a mom.  When I feel like it,  I make an effort and dress well, but seriously people,  do we really need something else to make us feel bad about ourselves?

When I look in the mirror I consider Botox, but there is school supplies to buy and a long list of things that I have to pay before I can even consider it.  I consider breast implants and then I think about how I breastfed my little ones and do I really need the risk of surgery?  Where will I find the money?  Is this important?  Then I fold my beautiful breasts back into my push-up bra and fake it.  I look in the mirror and think I really need to make a plan to go back to the hairdresser and color my roots and then I forget about it for another week.

Never do I turn around look at the mirror and think, you know I really need butt implants or a fake butt.  I do not have time to worry about my butt. I cannot even see my butt except my doing contortions straight out of Cirque du Soleil.  I sit on it, I squeeze it into my jeans and I don’t worry about it.  If my husband likes squeezing my butt when he walks pasts me I think whohoo, he stills sees me as a woman.   I only worry about my butt when I struggled to button my jeans.  Then I will ask the questions that husbands dread:  Do my butt look big in this?  Obviously we have been going about this the wrong way.  The questions should really be:  Do my butt look big enough in these?

I have questions.  Do we really need something else to feel bad about?  What happens when you wear these and they shift?  If someone squeeze your butt, would you know?    You know parent meetings can run very long, would these be like carrying my own personal cushion around?  Are they comfortable?

Butt seriously people.

I’m raising four beautiful daughters and a son.  I have to make sure that I built up their self esteem, teach them what is important and teach my son how to treat and respect woman.  My daughters need to learn how to respect and celebrate their bodies and ignore the onslaught of the media who will always make them feel that they are not enough.    As woman we are our own worse enemies and we do not need another thing on the list to make us insecure.

I’m going to celebrate my beautiful, saggy, round bootie without Foam Butt Panties and I invite you to do the same.

11 replies
  1. jess meddows
    jess meddows says:

    Oh dearie, dearie me. LOL. I wish the day would come where I would worry about my backside being too small! Even though I’m petite, it’s still one of the largest parts on me. I for one will never required padded panties. 😉

    Reply
    • Mariet
      Mariet says:

      I hate that my daughters are growing up in a world where how you look has a influence on who you are perceived to be. This does not help.

      Reply
  2. Karen
    Karen says:

    If you need foam panties to make you feel beautiful, go right ahead. I on the other hand do not. A highly padded bra would better suit me. However, I do not wear one of those either. My husband thinks I am gorgeous with my tiny boobs, oddly shaped butt, while sporting sweat pants and without make up. I hope my sons look to their father and mother to find what beauty and love really entail.

    Reply
  3. Marianne
    Marianne says:

    Haha, I loved this post. I remember when I was younger, reading Ivanhoe where it seemed all you needed was a beautiful face and hands (nothing else would show!) and thinking it must have been so much easier back then.
    I hate that my budding tween (barely 10) is already starting to be body conscious. She’s too young to be thinking about that!! I always make a point to focus on her health instead of physical features and I hope to God by the time she’s a teen that will help her to be grateful for whatever body she has.

    Reply

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